


Say it

by ItsOnlyAPenName



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Dean, Christian Character, Declarations Of Love, Drunk Dean, Drunk Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Forbidden Love, House Party, M/M, Secret Relationship, Top Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 14:04:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6960052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsOnlyAPenName/pseuds/ItsOnlyAPenName
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel's religion forbids him from loving Dean the way that he wants to, and that leads to Castiel breaking Dean's heart.</p><p>But that still hasn't stopped Dean from letting Castiel into his bed every night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say it

Dean pounds another shot of vodka, and it feels like fire as it slides down his throat.

“Jesus, Winchester! It’s a marathon, not a sprint.” Charlie cautions as she watches her best friend take yet another shot. Dean grits his teeth and tries not to acknowledge the churning in his stomach. The liquor burns almost as much as his ass after dicking he just received ten minutes prior. 

They haven’t been at the party for more than a minute, but Dean’s eyes have already landed on the blue-eyed man currently standing in the corner of the living room. Though the room is dark, and the man in question is far away; Dean knows exactly whom he’s staring at. It’s his secret ex-boyfriend, Castiel Novak. 

Castiel Novak, who promised he wasn’t going to be at this party. 

Castiel Novak, who is now chatting up a pretty brunette freshman _at said party_. 

Castiel Novak, who had just fucked Dean senseless in the back seat of his Impala no more than ten minutes before entering the same, _said party_. 

Of course, Charlie can’t know that, because she would kill him if she did. She is the only one who even knew about their relationship, and as far as she is concerned, Castiel nothing more than the “ _good for nothing son of a bitch_ ” who broke Dean’s heart and called it quits just when things started getting serious between them. 

But still, Dean can never find it in him to say no whenever Castiel calls him, horny and hungry for a taste of Dean’s cock. Can’t say no when Castiel knows exactly where to touch him to make him say yes. 

They’ve been broken up for more than two weeks, but Dean is pretty sure he hasn’t spent more than a day without Castiel’s cock finding its way into at least one of his orifices. 

“I can handle myself, Charlie.” Dean blubbers. He attempts to pour himself another shot of vodka but he misses the glass entirely, spilling the fermented liquid onto the table. 

“Alrighty, I think you’ve had enough.” Charlie notes, swiftly taking the bottle out of her best friend’s hands. “Since when do you drink vodka anyway?” 

“Since tonight.” Dean huffs. He reaches for the bottle, but falls into Charlie’s lap instead. 

“Oof!” Charlie blows. She tries to balance the bottle in her hands, ultimately placing it on the table in front of them. “Slow down tiger.” 

“Hand over the liquor, Bradbury.” Dean slurs. Charlie scoots back and away from Dean, which results in Dean landing face first onto the couch cushion beneath him. 

He mumbles something into the cushion, but Charlie can’t hear him over the loud music. 

“What was that?” Charlie giggles. 

Dean lazily lifts his head off of the cushion. “I need to fuck someone.” 

“Good luck!” Charlie lets out a thunderous laugh, “I’m sorry, but aren’t you notoriously known as Whiskey Dick Winchester? Plus, we both know you haven’t topped since high school.” 

“Shut up.” Dean blabs, “That’s just between the two of us and you know it.” 

“I know. I know. I’m just teasing.” Charlie smiles and Dean just rolls over on the couch so that he can stare up at the ceiling. 

“Hey Charlie, is Dean alright?” Joe Harvelle asks as she approaches her two friends. 

“The drunk fuck wants to fuck.” Charlie laughs and points to Dean, who is staring dreamily up at the ceiling.

“I’m sure I can help him with that.” Jo smirks before making her way onto the couch, where she slings a leg around Dean, straddling him. 

“Nope. Not drunk enough for that.” Dean huffs, pushing his friend off of him. “Call me when you break your hymen.” 

Jo falls back on to the opposite side of the couch, where she ends up lying by Dean’s feet. “Don’t tell me you’re drunk enough to forget that you’re the one who broke it.” Jo snickers. 

“Fuck.” Dean groans, wiping his face with his hand. “Forgot about that.” 

Jo sits up and slaps Dean on the leg, “Wow, thanks asshole. Glad it was a memorable experience for you too.” 

“There’s a heart shaped birthmark on your left asscheek.” Dean slurs. “See. I remember.” 

“Everyone knows that.” Jo rolls her eyes as she reclines back onto the couch. 

Dean smiles to himself before making his next observation, “Does everyone know you’re a squirter too?” 

“La-la-la-la-la!” Charlie sings, placing her index fingers in her ears, “Okay. I’ve heard enough.” 

Dean smiles cheekily as Jo sits up again, this time slapping him in the face. “That was _one_ fucking time.” Jo screeches before promptly getting off of the couch and wandering into the crowd of partygoers while huffing, “I need a drink.” 

“Maybe it’s time I take you home.” Charlie suggests. 

Dean promptly sits up and raises his index finger in declaration. “I’m not that drunk.” 

“Every single one of your actions makes me beg to differ.” Charlie smiles. “But I’m your best friend, not your mother.” 

“Thank god, because my mom is dead. And I can’t imagine living without _you_ too.” Dean exhales. 

Charlie fishes into her purse and pulls out a fifth of Jack. “Here.” She hands it to Dean. 

“Why?” Dean asks as he unscrews the cap. 

“I also saw you gawking at Castiel the second we got here, and vodka only makes people sad.” Charlie shrugs, “So if you want to get frisky, do it with whiskey.” Charlie clears her throat before smiling at Dean and proclaiming, “I’m going to help you find someone else to fuck!”

Dean looks at her through the corner of his eye before taking swig of whiskey.

“What about Lisa?” Charlie proposes. 

“I don’t want to fuck anyone else, I just wanna fuck Cas.” Dean huffs. 

“Cassie? That’s perfect. She’s still in love with you, so that’ll be easy.” Charlie pats Dean’s shoulder. 

Dean turns to Charlie and stares at her blankly. “Not in the mood for games.” 

“Yeah, but apparently someone else is…” Charlie grabs Dean’s chin and points it in the direction of Castiel, who has his hand down the brunette’s pants, and his mouth wrapped around her neck.

“Fine.” Dean huffs, slamming the fifth of whiskey onto the table. “He wants to play games. I’ll play games.” Dean staggers up and off of the couch, brushing his pant legs. “But I won’t play them his way.” 

Dean gets up and begins making his way towards Castiel. 

“Dean, where are you going?” Charlie hollers, but Dean doesn’t hear her over the pounding of the music. 

He walks directly up to Castiel and the girl. And because Castiel’s lips are still attached to the brunette’s neck, he doesn’t immediately notice when Dean plants his lips on the freshman. It’s only when Castiel can no longer hear the girl’s moans that he detaches his lips from her neck. 

“Dean.” Castiel huffs, pulling Dean away from the territory he had just spent the entire party marking—quite literally—with his tongue. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” 

“Finding myself a girl to fuck, obviously.” Dean shrugs.

“Yeah, well go find yourself another one.” Castiel pushes Dean aside and heads back towards his freshman. 

Dean grabs Castiel’s arm and pulls him to his chest. 

“What are you doing?” Castiel huffs. 

Rather than reply with words, Dean grabs Castiel’s hand and pulls him into a nearby hallway. 

“Dean.” Castiel grumbles, “Dean, what are you—” 

Dean pulls Castiel’s face towards his, kissing him deeply. And Dean isn’t even the slightest bit surprised when Castiel doesn’t pull away. Instead, Castiel chooses to run a hand underneath Dean’s shirt, tracing his warm skin with his fingertips before placing a firm hand on Dean’s torso, pushing Dean against the wall and creating a bit of space between them. “Upstairs.” He commands, his voice guttural, and full of lust.

Dean gulps and nods, and Castiel grabs his hand, leading him through the sea of people and up the stairs. They stumble into the first room they find, and it’s miraculously empty. 

Not a word is spoken as Castiel immediately starts stripping Dean of his clothes, pulling Dean’s pants off of him with one quick, downwards motion. “Get on the bed.” Castiel huffs, as Dean steps out of his pants. He wastes no time presenting himself, sticking his ass in the air for Castiel to see him in all his naked glory.

“You’re so fucking needy.” Castiel laughs as he removes his own clothes, before making his way on to the bed. “Roll over, I want to see you.” He instructs, and Dean readily complies, letting out a puff of air as Castiel grabs his legs and pulls them around him. 

“I’m going to fuck you into the mattress.” Castiel huffs, leaning down to place his lips on Dean’s. Dean smiles into the kiss as he lies happily on his back, with his legs wrapped around Castiel. “And I’m going to do it without laying a finger on you.” Castiel smiles and bites Deans lip, eliciting a moan from his already open mouth. 

Castiel lets go of Dean’s lip and licks a trail down to his neck, where Castiel can feel the pulse of Dean’s vain, which he knows must be pumping blood to the hard cock Castiel can feel pressing against his torso. 

Dean moans when Castiel begins sucking on his neck, right above his collarbone just the way he knows Dean likes it. “Fuck, Cas.” Dean moans and Castiel bites down hard on Dean’s neck. “Mmm, baby that feels so good.” 

“Baby?” Castiel takes his mouth off of Dean’s neck. “Dean…” 

“It slipped.” Dean sighs, “I’m sorry.” 

“We broke up two weeks ago, Dean…” 

“I said I was sorry…Please. Don’t ruin this.” Dean sighs, “Just shut up and fuck me.”

Castiel nods and brings his lips back up to Dean’s kissing him roughly before breaking away, “Shit.” Castiel sighs. 

“What is it?” Dean asks worriedly. 

“I’ve got pocket lube and a condom in my coat.” Castiel sighs. 

“So…what’s the problem?” Dean asks. 

“It’s so far away.” Castiel mumbles. 

“You’re joking.” Dean laughs, “It’s _right_ by the door.” 

“Yeah, but we’re already on the bed.” Castiel notes. 

“Cas…go get the lube and the condom.” Dean demands as he laughs. 

“Dean, I fucked you half an hour ago.” Castiel smirks, “You’re telling me you aren’t still a little lubricated?” Castiel dips two fingers into Dean and he lets out a guttural moan. 

“Fuck.” Dean groans, shaking his head. “That’s—that’s nice.”

Castiel grins and adds another finger, causing Dean to let out another moan. “Cas, I swear to God.” 

“What?” Castiel breathes, scissoring his fingers inside of Dean. 

“Get the fucking lube.” Dean inhales deeply. 

“Fine.” Castiel sighs, “But you’re coming with me.” He pulls his fingers out of Dean, causing a quiet whimper to escape his lips. 

“I’m wha—” Dean’s words are cut short when Castiel holds him close, carrying him off the bed with him. “Christ.” Dean breathes, keeping his legs wrapped around Castiel. 

Castiel walks over to his coat, grabs the lube and condom from his pocket, and makes his way back to the bed, all while keeping Dean wrapped around him. 

“Christ.” Dean repeats once he’s flat on his back again. Castiel wastes no time opening up the lube and lathering some on his fingers before placing them back into Dean. “Not your fingers, dammit.” Dean groans beneath Cas.

Dean is drunk, and horny, and goddammit he just wants to get fucked. 

“Needy.” Castiel sings under his breath. He reaches for the condom and hands it to Dean, who helps him open it as Castiel finishes prepping him. 

“Here.” Dean hands Castiel the condom and he removes his fingers from inside Dean before pulling the condom down his shaft, and placing his hard cock where his fingers used to be. 

“Mmmm yeess.” Dean moans as Castiel begins slowly thrusting into him. 

“Needy little Winchester, so hungry for all the cock your daddy starved you of.” Castiel huffs as he thrusts into Dean, slowly picking up pace. 

“Funny for you, of all people, to say something like that.” Dean breathes. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Castiel huffs, his thrusts becoming more violent. 

Dean lets out a lustful moan as Castiel hits his prostate for the first time. “Fuck now.” Dean exhales, “Talk later.” He pulls Castiel down into a kiss, licking his bottom lip in a last ditch effort to get Castiel to use his tongue for something other than talking. 

Castiel pushes deeper into Dean and he lets out an embarrassingly high pitched whimper. “Holy shit. Right there.” Dean whimpers, tightening his legs around Castiel’s torso in an effort to push Castiel deeper into him. “Right fucking there.” 

“Dean.” Castiel groans as he keeps a steady pace, repeatedly jamming his cock against Dean’s prostate. 

“Don’t stop.” Dean moans, arching his back. “Oh my god don’t fucking stop. I’m gonna come.” 

Castiel continues pumping into Dean with relentless resolve, in and out with deliberate hits to Dean’s prostate. 

“Cas!” Dean screams as his orgasm shakes through him, “Don’t! Fucking! Stop!” He loses his breath soon after, unable to do much more than gasp in pleasure as Castiel fucks him into a gelatinous state, and his body goes completely limp with lust. 

Castiel comes soon after that, with a guttural moan accompanying his own earth shaking orgasm. “Fuck.” Castiel breathes as he slowly pulls out of Dean and collapses by his side. 

Dean gets up on his elbow and turns toward Castiel, ready to continue the conversation they were in the midst of having moments before. “Okay, so why’d you break up with me?” 

“You know why, Dean.” Castiel sighs, still out of breath. “My father—” 

“Fuck what your _father_ thinks.” Dean huffs angrily. 

“Easy for you to say.” Castiel shoots back. 

“Why? Because my dad’s dead?” Dean bellows, pushing himself off of the bed. 

“Because your father never knew about you.” Castiel accuses, getting up after Dean.

“That’s not true Cas!” Dean yells, “I told him! I told him and he chose to deny it…tried to make me deny it too.” Dean hollers, “But I didn’t! And I won’t! And I can’t be with someone who denies who they are!” 

“I’m sorry, Dean.” Castiel breathes, “But, I can’t.” 

“Well then.” Dean huffs, “Thank you for one, last, good, fuck.” 

“Last?” Castiel raises an eyebrow. 

“Yeah.” Dean pushes past Castiel, “I’m done.” Dean grabs his underwear and pants from beneath the bed, and puts them on as Castiel watches in silence. 

“You’re done?” Castiel asks. 

“I’m done.” Dean nods, picking up his shirt and throwing it over his head. “I’m sure your whore is still waiting for you downstairs.”

Castiel watches Dean in silence as he walks to the door, but the moment he reaches for the handle, Castiel breathes, “Wait.” 

Dean turns around, a frown plastered on his face as he waits for Castiel to speak.

“I…” Castiel sighs, and Dean rolls his eyes, putting his hand back around the doorknob. “Dean…” 

“What?” Dean huffs, not turning around. 

“I…” Castiel breathes, “I love you.”

“I know.” Dean grunts and opens the door, walking out of the room without turning back. Its Castiel’s turn to have his heart broken, to know how it feels to tell someone you love them, only to have them turn their back and walk away from you. 

Dean trudges down the stairs and back down to the party, where he wades through the crowd until he finds Charlie. She’s in the kitchen, sitting on the counter and nursing her bottle of whiskey as she talks to another pretty, red haired girl. 

When she sees Dean coming her way, she whispers something in the other girl’s ear, causing her to nod bashfully before walking away. 

“How’d it go?” Charlie asks Dean, slinging an arm around his shoulder once he’s by her side, leaning on the counter.

“I won.” Dean says simply. He grabs the fifth of whiskey from Charlie’s hands and takes a swig. “I’m sore. But he’s the loser.” 

“What?” Charlie laughs. 

Dean passes the bottle back to his friend and shrugs. “Doesn’t matter. Let’s go home.” 

“Where’s Castiel?” Charlie asks. 

“Doesn’t matter.” Dean sighs and grabs Charlie’s hand, leading her out of the kitchen. 

Suddenly all of the lights in the house turn on, and the music stops playing. 

“Everyone shut the fuck up!” A voice booms, and the room is filled with a chorus of hushed whispers. 

“What the fuck is going on?” Charlie whispers as Dean continues to pull her towards the door.

“I have an announcement to make.”

Dean knows that voice. And after Castiel gets up on a table in the center of the living room, and clears his throat, Dean is reassured that he’s the one who had spoken earlier. 

Castiel lets out a deep breath before proclaiming, “I’m sure many of you already know who I am.” 

“Yeah!” Ruby yells from behind the bar, “You’re about to be a deadman if you don’t get off of my table, Cas.” 

A few stifled laughs ring through the room, and Castiel turns to glare at his friend. 

“Ugh, just make it quick.” Ruby rolls her eyes before pouring herself a drink. 

“Dean, _what_ is going on right now?” Charlie repeats. But Dean does not respond, he stays frozen, looking up at Castiel as he begins to speak. 

“I’ve been hiding something from both my peers, friends, and family, for quite some time and I wish to come clean.” Castiel closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them again, along with his mouth. “I’m gay.” Castiel proclaims proudly, “I’m gay and I’m in love!” 

The room erupts in a series of whispers, only lowering when Castiel speaks again.

“I’m head over fucking heels for Dean Winchester and I don’t care what any of you assholes have to say about it.”

As suddenly as the whispers started, they stop. The room goes completely silent, quiet enough to hear a pin drop, until Charlie whispers, “Woah.” And the whole room turns in their direction. 

“Fuck.” Dean gulps, sure his cheeks have turned the same fiery color as his best friend’s hair. 

“I love you, Dean Winchester!” Castiel proclaims again, jumping off the table. The partygoers around him part like the Red Sea, giving Castiel a clear path to Dean, who is staring at him with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. 

“Dean.” Charlie shakes her best friend, attempting to lure him out of his stupor. “Dean say something.” 

The whole room watches as Castiel stops, inches away from Dean, who has still yet to say a word.

“I love you.” Castiel repeats. Every time Dean hears him say it, it feels like the first time. 

It feels better than any orgasm Castiel has ever given him. It feels better than any orgasm he’s ever had in his entire life. 

“Say it again.” Dean whispers, finally speaking.

“I love you.” Castiel smiles, stepping closer.

“Again.” Dean breathes.

“I love you.” 

“Again.” 

“I love—” 

Dean pulls Castiel in for a tender kiss, and the room erupts into a series of cheers as the music starts back up again. 

Dean smiles with Castiel as they break apart. 

“I love you, too.” Dean grins and kisses Castiel, the boy he loves, and who he is now pretty damn sure, loves him too. 


End file.
